© 1995-2021. You Onstage. All rights reserved.

Top performers know that one of the secrets to success is being

Focused AND Relaxed - at the same time!

Does this seem impossible to you?  It's not!

To get started, take this short quiz...

When you're talking to someone, are you thinking about:

A.  What you're going to say next.

B.  How soon you can end this interaction.

C.  Judging them (as Tony DiNozzo from N.C.I.S. said, "Put down the gavel, take off your robe and quit judging.")

D.  Whether you're having Flamin' Hot Cheetos or a salad for lunch.

E.  None of the above - I'm a saint!

If you picked A, B, C or D, try this for 1 week (even if you picked E, it's still fun).

When someone is talking, just listen. Only ask them about what they just said. Don't say anything about yourself, your experience with the topic, or your opinion. For example, if they say "I really like Colorado", instead of saying, "Me too", ask them what they like about it. If they say, "I love the mountain air and hiking", instead of saying "Yeah, the last time I was there...blah, blah, blah", ask them where they went hiking, if there were any bears, what kind of boots they wore, etc.

Apply this no matter what the topic is. If they are complaining, don't agree with them. Don't disagree or try to cheer them up. Be curious by truly listening to everything they say. You might accidentally help them discover what is really bothering them!

If they have a problem to solve, keep asking them questions and delve deeper into their answer. Just this once, see if by listening intently and not trying to fix their problem for them, they come up with an amazing solution. They will be happy and also might think you are brilliant!

You know what? You were just FOCUSED and RELAXED at the same time! I promise you - it's very relaxing to listen in a focused, curious way. It's actually fun and entertaining!! And this is a skill that award-winning Broadway actors use all the time to keep the audience's attention.

What's this have to do with your job interview, the people staring at you in a team meeting, or the possibly scary person on the other end of the phone that you want to buy your Widgetzoid?  If you practice this, it will be like “Wax on, wax off” from The Karate Kid.  You will find yourself naturally connecting with people - no matter the situation or how many you're talking to - on a whole other level.

If you’re curious to explore how to use this and other actor “secrets” in your business presentations so you are more connected to yourself, your message and your “audience”, book a complimentary connection session with me or check out our very fun group program - You Onstage.  I’d love to meet you. 



Delilah Blake, founder of You Onstage™, has been teaching games and exercises from the theater world to business people in the U.S. and Europe for over 25 years to enhance communication and connection skills.  She has run for-profit theaters in Times Square, New York, and Houston, Texas, specializing in comedy shows with an uplifting message. more


© 1995-2021. You Onstage. All rights reserved.